What a goal, and one I am not sure that I will fully achieve while I struggle here on earth with this flesh of mine. First of all, self is always getting in the way of any love I have. My head hurts, my body hurts, I’m hungry and so on. It is so hard to love when I am not feeling one hundred percent great. I guess that is why I need mercy and compassion along with forgiveness and understanding as a self prescribed ointment. Without it, the rest of the human race would not have a chance with me. But beyond those things that ail me (and others), it is always easier to love those who are lovely to me. Reason that along with the fact that it would be truly impossible to love everyone, and I have a perfect excuse to pick and choose who I love and narrow it down to the lovely people who are likers of Tyler.
The problem is that it all breaks down when I consider the love that God has for me. True that as I child I did seek Him. I did so by asking my grandmother about Him, or at least how to live in Heaven with Him. But even then, I mostly wanted to secure a place in Heaven for myself. Ouch, as I think about it, I was really just loving myself. How many times did I pray at night “I pray the Lord my soul to keep.” Those words I repeated nightly as if a magical phrase would pave my way to Heaven. I can remember the fear with which I prayed those words and the contemplation of going to hell instead of Heaven. I guess one facet of God’s beauty is that he considered my plea and loved me despite my self focused state. I am in awe that He made a path and that He made the path known to me. Awaken me today Lord to love those you want me to love.
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