Papa pursuing Joy (and Love)

What is up with Papa. Well, I have been dealing with a lot of emotions this year.
To sum up:
TJ moved out
I turned 40
Lana got married
Mom passed away
We are having another baby

I’ve learned something, when the emotions swell up, the mental, physical, and spiritual take the back seat, shrink from grapes to raisins, dry up like tears on a hot sidewalk, um you get the point. So it has been time for evaluating where I am and where I want to go (or as God’s child, I could also say, where does God want me to go, I mean the same thing).

Priority one - Me. Not in a selfish way, but the papa has to be ok. The leader has to have a plan. He has the have a vision that fulfills his purpose, which indeed implies that he has a purpose. He needs to have patience and lots of it. He has to have a storehouse of faith and hope that he can share in a moment. To be followed, he needs to have joy. He’d like to have peace and in great measure too. He can’t get wrapped around the axel, sucked in by the vacuum of details, tipped over and tossed out by the waves of tasks and demands. (I think I hear the grass growing right now, wait, stop it, it’s still dark out.) Yet he can’t let the details fall to the ground. The Papa has a lot to do and a lot giving to give. He can’t demand to much from the helpmeet that is given to him, he can’t drain the children to shore up his emotional well being. He needs to be close to the commander and know the commanders heart. He needs time for reflection, refreshing, refilling, and revival of the heart.
I’ve recently memorized I Corinthians 13:4-8, that was the easy part. The Papa need to put that into practice. I have also memorized the fruits of the spirit but my branches are not necessarily straining to support large quantities of fruit. The Papa needs that kind of fruit. The soldier needs his training and his armor. The shepherd, his wisdom and his staff. But the dad, this here Papa, he needs to be drenched in and dripping of the attributes of love. This here Papa has got his own arrows to shoot and I need to make sure that I am seeing clearly. I can’t allow myself to be blinded by selfishness or ugliness. I can’t allow selfishness to cloud my discernment. I must discern the correct target. There are a million things to aim my arrows at but I can only aim at one of them. I have a great influence on where my arrows land.

Pray that I will stay faithful to getting up and spending time seeking the Lords will, favor, blessings, discernment, aid, comfort, protection, provision, strength, vision, direction, wisdom, and love. This here Papa needs all that and so much more from the Lord and I would cherish your prayers in this regard because I intend for things to keep changing around here.
Peace from the Papa who is pursuing Joy (and Love).